Worst Hindi films of 2010

No, seriously. What can be more appetizing than drawing up a chart for the top 10 movies for this year? Top 10 bad movies, I mean. There's been quite a few good films this year -- most of them, heck, almost all of them being small-budgeted films -- Udaan, Ishqiya, Love. Sex Aur Dhokha, Do Dooni Chaar, Peepli [Live]. Okay Band Baaja Baaraat too. But, the real fun lies in picking out the 10 most audience-insulting, big-budget bombs that made you want to tear your heads while in the theaters. And your neighbors' too.

Here's my retrospective of the TEN turds of 2010(yellow yellow dirty fellow)

--

 

10. *Kajraare *-- It was as if Pooja Bhatt decided to stomp her foot hard, leave the directorial duties to Himesssssss bhai himself and take off to a place where there would be total solitude. Because, that's what one would seek for after watching this bull-headed film in which apna Himesss bhai tries to 'buy' his love from God-knows-whats. WTF. Yes, that's what they were saying while watching this movie on TataSky. No, wait. It released in a total of, what, 2 theaters, may be.

 

9. *Knock Out *-- Irrfan Khan looked like a pimp in this 'original' film. A 'very original' film that just happens to be based on 2003's *Phone Booth*.

So what if the storylines are a bit similar? So what if entire scenes are Ctrl-X'ed and Ctrl-V'ed? Apni pikchur hai bhai, aise insult na karo. Sanjay Dutt and Kangana Ranaut make your skin crawl. And this is not even a horror movie.

 

8. *We Are Family *-- Well, of course you are. Kajol, Kareena, Arjun, Karan

-- you are ALL one big family. A family that wears designer outfits all the time, even while on bed. A family that's so clean-cut and cute that it makes diabetes sound cool. A family that watched its own effort bite the dust despite having taken all the official permissions, despite having bought the remake rights. Has there been a film this year that's as regressive as this?

I bet not.

 

7. *Veer *-- Salman Khan plays an ancient warrior clad in orange jean pants.

Orange? Orange?? In the 18th century? Or was that 17th? Who cares really!

Director Anil Sharma still thinks that Gadar was his masterpiece. Meh, it seems like Sharma keeps returning to his roots. That of loud and jingoistic film-making. Not a shred of talent to be found in this movie. Zip. Nil.

Pind. Oops, I meant Pindari.

 

6. *Pyaar* *Impossible *-- This is such a funny, funny, funny, funny film, I tell you. I had tears in my eyes when Uday Chopra's character starts using Apple OS and Windows simultaneously. And the climax where the BIG twist is revealed -- the one in which Uday Chopra has password protected his gargantuan invention or whatever. It wasn't until I started choking did I realize that "No, you don't have to laugh yourselves to death for this silly, stupid movie. Not for this."

 

5. *Action Replayy *-- Just remove the time-travel factor and the retro costumes and what do you have? Nothing. Nothing at all. Well, except an nausea-inducing Akshay Kumar and our queen-of-over-the-top actress(!) Aishwarya Rai. The fake wig of Akshay Kumar has a better expression than that of all the expressions of all the people (in this film) put together.

.

4. *Prince *- *It's Showtime *-- Yes, it is indeed time. To show that Vivek Oberoi has lost it. That angry, young man who I saw in Company has taken a sabbatical and isn't returning anymore. Something far sinister has returned.

Yes, hide all you Jason Bourne's because the ultimate creature(!) is here.

One who uses vacuum pipes to send diamonds from the top floor to the ground floor. And yes, there's a chip too. One that wipes your memory clean or steals it or something like that. And romancing (read dry-humping) those semi-clad bimbettes? Priceless.This might have worked as a film-so-bad-that-it's-good but the way it takes itself so seriously is something you need to see to believe. So good that it's bad? Wait, isn't that too much to ask?

 

3. *No Problem *-- Says who? Missing diamonds? A ticklish Anil Kapoor? A gorilla who farts tornadoes? Suniel Shetty? Akshaye Khanna as a drag? Anees Bazmee? Man, the way I look at it, there's a hell lot of problem

 

2. *Anjaana Anjaani *-- Well, I have to admit.... I had some expectations from this one. Because I'd enjoyed Bachna Ae Haseeno to an extent. But this film is so bad that you will want to write down in huge billboards and show them to the filmmakers, "Hey, what's the use of stretching a condom....sorry, a rubber band that far?" That peeing in water joke is so gross, i can't even begin to explain. And if you haven't ever had an allergic reaction in your whole life, rest assured, Priyanka Chopra will make sure that you get one after watching this piece of junk.

 

And the one that was already standing in the market with its pants down and that was caught with its pants down is...

 

1. *Housefull *-- I am almost tempted to quote Roger Ebert and say I hated, hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. But that in itself would be a significant amount of unwarranted praise for a movie so filthy and puerile.

Made by the man who calls himself the director of *Heyyyyy Babyyyy,* (pardon me in case I missed a few y's) this is such a low in terms of comedy that it makes the Priyadarshan movies look saner and subtle by comparison. A monkey slapping Akshay Kumar, cheap gay jokes, Boman Irani sleep-walking. You name it. This movie has all the pre-requisites for one colossal disaster. *Avatar *of yours? Can you even spell A-V-A-T-A-R, Mr. Khan?

 

Written by Gyandeep Pattanayak

Music And Muse | Just Ada

Music is one of the most defining parts of a romantic movie. Though I planned to work on music with another group; somehow it didn’t materialized and quite luckily I met Aditya.

I had worked with Chandrasekar in past and we share quite a rapport. With Aditya in loop we started working on the music. The lyrics were not great as I am not much into poetry. However, Aditya got the chords right. Sohum perfectly complemented him and Chandru mixed the parts well.

The first song is ‘Every Morning Every Day’. This number defines Deep’s love for Ada and his reluctance to profess it in front of his beloved. “Crooning this number would be difficult,” Aditya commented. Though the first draft came up pretty well, a lot has to be worked upon to make it near perfect…

The basic theme of the second song ‘In Your Arms’ is prepared. We gotta work hard this weekend to get it done.

We have Deep but we are still searching for our Ada. The girl, who initially said yes, chickened out at the last moment. Man, you can’t understand girls. Had I knew that I will have so much trouble finding a girl for my movie, I would have worked on an all-men story… may be on the lines of Brokeback Mountain… may be a gangster movie with lots of politics in backdrop… Had I knew…

When the girl we initially selected said no, I was literally boiling. I was really very unhappy because she took quite some time just to say no and the search had to start from scratch. I seriously hope that we can convince someone doing this role.

Ada is a beautiful character. Her love for Deep is totally different from the way Deep loves her. While Deep is like the firefly that doesn’t think twice before coming close to fire, Ada is like the wick of the lamp which is burning and her only solace is love. Their existence depends on how they finish themselves.

Working in such independent efforts can be draining but then you will have something to remember even after marriage and having kids. I am writing this all… may be someday my kid would love to read these posts…

Till next updates… Signing Off…

Love…

Sujoy

Quite Right @RajeevMasand | Editor's Pen

Rajeev Masand is one of the most respected movie reviewer in this country. While many reviewers tend to give thumbs up to silly movies from big banners and thumbs down to some really good movies, Masand keeps his point straight without any bias. No wonder, he is the Ebert of B'wood Cinema.

On twitter, recently Masand pointed out the importance of reviewers and as expected I saw a few good-for-nothing movie makers trying to bash him. As a movie blogger, we thought about taking a stand on this issue. Whether it has any impact or not, doing it is the most important thing in our opinion.

I understand that making even a piece of **** like Tashan is no easy task. It needs a lot of work in front of the camera and at least ten times of that behind the lens. Passing a judgment over all the hard work is apparently an easy shot. But there is something call responsibility.

Writing a review and doing a review are two different things. A movie has a banner and a star cast but does it provide good entertainment and telling that without any prejudice or affection is Doing A Review. Masand does a review.

What would have happened to a movie like Udaan had committed reviewers like Masand didn't rated it high. It could have died a natural death and faded out from memory of public just like movies like Sankat City did. Its easy for people who make movies like Housefull to bash reviewers because at some point they know that a big star cast will earn them a good opening and that’s enough for them. They don't need to have anything on platter... not even story. But when someone makes a movie with heart and blood, he needs support and that’s when Masands come into picture.

@RajeevMasand: Thanks for being there as an idol for movie-lovers like us.

Love,

Sujoy Ghosh

Year of sh*tty Duds | Under Lens

What to say, man! What a sad year this has been for Hindi films. Rather for the filmgoer. I for one think that industry-wallahs think of us as morons who’ll scramble for to watch anything decorated with stars and … well nothing else.

 

2010 has seen duds like Veer, Khatta Meetha, Anjaana Anjaani and my favorite shitty movie of the year I Hate Luv Storys. (Okay, don’t get angry Mr. Reader-of-this-post  there were more like Pyar Impossible(Uday, with you truly pyaar is impossible), Chance Pe Dance(which had no dance),  Teen Patti(hey what was happening ?!), Paathshala(Zzzzzz… ), Phoonk 2(You could have donted the money to charity RGV), Aisha (Wasn’t it supposed to be Jane Austen and NOT Sex and the City …. aarrrgh), Lafangey Parindey , Knock Out, Kajraare(when did this release :O), Break Ke Baad(give me a break), Khatta Meetha (Shout-your-lungs-out comedy))

 

Veer- Year started off with the big budget Veer penned by mighty Khan, Sallu himself. It was pretty much a cringe fest. Anil Gadar Sharma thought his shit would be accepted once more. “Wait a minute”, Gadar Sharma might add, “at least Sallu didn’t do his Hello Brother humour trick here.” Yeah but you made Sohail do that for us, you moron.

 

Anjaana Anjaani- Well you know what, I wish at least one of the protagonist had succeeded in committing suicide before the story began. At least we would have been spared all the trouble L

 

Prince- So-bad-it-is-good category. Vivek made sure we had a good time. With a premise this silly they couldn’t have possibly thought that we’ll take this seriously. With seriously funny dialogs and some actually good action sequences, it was pretty bad.

 

Hisss- For years we have been hearing about Mallika’s Hollywood venture, and then it came. It went off theaters before we could say FLOP. This sure is one movie we wouldn’t misss…

 

I Hate Luv Storys- Imran you’re the man. When it comes to not-acting while trying to act, you’re the go-to guy. This guy didn’t have ANY expressions in the most crucial scenes of the film. Sonam was Oscar material compared to Imran. With a plot that was paper thin and silly that eventually did sacrilege to Dil Chahta Hai climax. My Dear Imran, You single handedly made it worst of the year in my books (And will somebody care to explain HOW this went on to be a hit L )

 

I know I might have missed out on many of your NOT-favorite movies of the year in this post but that is what comments section is there for. Vent out your anger, we’re listening.

 

PS- Kites some might feel  wasn’t great, but come on compared to greats like IHLS it was heavenly. Moreover it did work for me so no bashing for Papa Roshan venture.

 

Written by Ali Naqvi.

Yamla Pagla Deewana | Music Review

Whenever we hear the above three words, a typical image comes into mind, which is of none other Dharmendra, in his best dancing mode. But this time we have bonus in form of junior Deols too.

Check out the title track of this album and you will know what I mean. RDB realized the charm of the original chartbuster and avoided much adulteration. Sonu Nigam , who has literally made his life from Rafi songs, was the apt choice. The song has the appeal to make you dance on the floor in Dharamji's famous style. The experiment done in form of additional new lyrics, 'soniye manmoniye', should have been avoided.

Next comes, earthy 'Charha De Rang' and is instantly likeable. I believe that the makers were most confident about this track. Reason being that it appears as many as four times in the album. Though its best in the album, but I personally like trying only the main version of songs in any album. Composed by Nouman Javaid, it has a strong Indian flavour. Rahul Seth has done a splendid job.

Then there is a twist in the album with the entry of item number 'Tinku jiya'. The song is high on beats and  lyrics are totally soaked in the rural flavour, that you can't humm. Anu Malik (turned lyricist) composition is what promises to be a 'masala' outing for the masses.

To complete the album, we required a love song, which is fulfilled by 'Sau Bar', a complete failed attempt. I believe soft numbers take time to grow on you, and I would this song a benefit of doubt. Omar Nadeem and Shreya Ghoshal are behind the mike, and their performance is the reason for my leniency.

Munni + Sheila ki Jawaani = 'Chamki Jawaani', another to join the race of item numbers.  Initial portion of the song is on the same lines as 'Kajraare'  and later qawalli touch makes it enjoyable. Mamta Sharma, 'Munni badnaam' fame is outshone by Daler Mehndi and Master Salim. My friends made my room a DJ floor when I played the song. We really enjoyed and had fun.

An overdose of item numbers is felt when the album throws up another similar track, 'Son titariya'. By now, I had started wondering if the setting of movie is in UP/Bihar or Punjab. This is folk piece sung by Krishna Beura, instantly reminding of 'Humka peeni hai' from 'Dabaang'. I believe too many whistles in the theatres would accompany the song. Vocals and music are good, but life of the song is again short.

Talking of Punjab, and no Sukhvinder yet? Here he comes with 'Kadd Ke Botal', and smashes all my hopes. Lyricist is Dharmendra ji himself !! The song didn't even touch bottom mark of older Punjabi tracks, I expected something more pacy .

The album is concluded with a-minute long 'Gurbani' put together by Sanjoy Chowdhury and sung by Shahid Mallya.

 

Verdict – Apt to make it to your playlist but not to your collection..

 

Written by

Neha Jain

Shakespeare In Love Movie review | The Critique

Rating-3.5/5 Stars

With little expectations of liking it, and no knowledge of it being a comedy I embarked on watching ‘Best Picture’ for the year 1998.

Set in Elizabethan times with Shakespeare as a rising playwright, who’s every play is inspired by a muse. At this point of story he is without a muse and thus without an inspiration to write. How he eventually finds her and scripts his classic Romeo and Juliet forms the rest of the story.

Joseph Fiennes as Shakespeare is excellent in his comic timing as well as his lover boy act. Gweneth Paltrow as his muse, who is binded by customs but is still madly in love with Shakespeare comes across as a earnest performance. Judy Dench with her surprise appearance as Queen Elizabeth impreses too.

How it changes from a light hearted comedy, going through twists to reach its lightly tragic end is a treat to savour.

Watch it whenever you have time. It will surely surprise you, as it surprised me.

Written By Ali Naqvi 

The Script Being Scripted | Just Ada Movie Blog

Shredded by failures in life, I tried to put some thoughts on paper. Few lines got their way to form a beautiful story… Just Ada. A simple story with typical death-can’t-deny-love sorts loaded with heavy emotions and pain seeping out of my heart.

 

Just Ada holds a very special place in my life. It was my first serious affair with writing. I had a broken heart and it helped me heal. When I heard some good comments, I felt good about myself and since then am driving my passion for writing with blood, sweat and time.

 

When I thought about making a movie, Just Ada was a natural choice for me. But writing a story and writing a script are two entirely different things. The thought of converting it into a script that can hold viewers for an hour gave me goosebumps. However, I was motivated enough to give it a shot and when now it is being done and further work on dialogs is going on… I am feeling nice.

 

Many people remarked that the story is similar to Walk To Remember and Love Story. Denying that would be lame. However, if anything inspired me at that time; it was Anand. The amazing friendship between Anand and Bhaskar, and doctor’s struggle against his friend’s death. Bhaskar tried to do whatever he could have done and stood by his friend till the end.

 

A lot is to be done…

 

Written by Sujoy Ghosh

Band Baaja Baraat | The Critique

Rating: 3/5

He might look like just another back-bencher of your class you whistles at girls and smoke cigarette at the paan-shop across the lane but he has it in him. Ranveer is some good talent; if not great. BBB is really lucky to have some fresh face like him and for me... YRF is back. This time with an unexpected BANG. 

From Chandni to Mohabattein, the secret of YRF movies were their songs and love stories. In latter part of this decade, they let the formula go slip and with the formula even success moved on. BBB brings in the formula back. The introductory song of Anushka reminds of good old days when in marriages the entire family used to gather and get involved in the National Wedding Songs. With first fifteen minutes into the movie, you start liking it.

BBB is a simple movie. Girl meets boy and they become friends and bizness partners. They love their work. One day something happens between them (read sex in inebriation) and everything shatters. Story is simple but the dialogs are stealer. Simple and with loads of fun. Performances are good, especially the lead pair.

There are a few flaws. The love making scene seems to be a bit out of place and second half is weak when compared to the first half. Music is good but a lot better is expected from YRF banner. Direction is simply superb considering a debut. Manish, man... you rock. In short, watch it. Its a good film. Without a big name, this is going to make a mark.

To detractors who say that Ranveer's father invested in the movie: Even if he did, he did for good. What's wrong in it? Atleast he didn't served a Pyaar Impossible...

Written By: Sujoy Ghosh

Point Taken | Editor's Pen

Well, I am the friend Ali referred to last edition in Editor’s pen.

To some extent I do agree with Ali that cinema needs support of icons to send across the message to masses. But there should be a line. Aamir’s patronage to Peepli Live brought that movie to centerstage. Every odd channel was showcasing the movie in prime-time slot because Aamir was presenting it. Some parties supported while few opposed it; just to hog some lime-light. Movie got hype and may get an Oscar. Great. Amazing. My Point: Do you remember the Director? Who played the role of Natha? Aah… everything got overshadowed by Aamir Khan. Why? Because he was right there in every odd frame while on publicity spree.

But yeah… atleast he is trying to bring people to fore.

The irony of cinema is that the better actors don’t have smart face. More labor more scars… For example, Om Puri is easily one of the best actor. He could have been superstar with a hard-hitting movie like Ardhasatya but did he? No. With a gruesome face he had at that time; it was impossible to attract ladies to theatre. Had the face being replaced by Salman Khan; the movie might have been right there at the top with Deewar and Sholay.

The bitter truth is that we are not able to accept new people. It’s safe to work with regulars, with Khan and Kapoor surnames or with faces on billboards. We make products; not cinema. If someone make a cinematic effort like Peepli Live; he needs to label it with Aamir Khan Productions to make it work as a product. But then that’s not quality…

I am not a big fan of Aamir Khan. But I sincerely respect his way of interpreting commercial cinema and ensuring that there is some good amount of cinema in his movie. Many of his contemporaries just make advertisements…

Ali had a question. Would I like my movie to be a blockbuster or a critically acclaimed flop that attains cult status with time? My answer: Anyday I would like to be in league of Shyam Benegal than in league of… well. I should stop. People may sue me.

Love…

Sujoy Ghosh

Hollywood In Bollywood | Candid Krishnan

I wanted to watch much hyped Hiss and asked my girl out. She first stared at me. She was thinking that I was more interested in Mallika than in SFX. Obviously, she was right. Girls are always right. So, I didn’t argue. As I surrendered, she agreed to accompany me. Strange…

But I was really interested in Hollywood movie set in India. I thought that it would be atleast interesting to watch HWood understanding of India. Not to mention, I was grossly disappointed.

I always felt that if Slumdog Millionaire can win so many Oscars; Indian movies definitely deserve better treatment at the International Level. How can they overload such a weak, stereotyped and heavily inspired (read the forbidden synonym for copy) movie with a plethora of appreciation. What was it…? Definitely not in the coveted league of other Academy Award winners.

Hollywood definitely doesn’t understand India. We still are land of snake-charmers. We have a large number of call-centers in each and every part of this country where anyone can sit and reply to dumb blonde questions. Breaking News… India is far more than that. On a serious note; HWood doesn’t want to break the traditional image of Indians. Poor and sorrowful. They will show NASA but minus Indians. A real NASA guy would laugh at that. For most of HWoodians Indians are like Slumdog-turned-Millionaires but the truth is that their interpretation of this journey from Slumdog to Millionaire is not as simple as appearing in Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. I think Danny Boyle should watch movies like Udaan to understand India.

And Hiss… that’s a sham. F it off.

Written By: Candy Krishnan

Manmohan Desai | The Statesmen

MANMOHAN DESAI (1937-1994)

The best part of Indian cinema is the ‘masala’ that it holds. Many a lot Indian movies have been made, that surely win all the critical acclaims, but the ones that rule the box-office are the one that contain this ‘typical and special ingredient’. One person who has made the most efficient recipe with it is non other than MANMOHAN DESAI.

Movies like Amar akbar Anthony (my all time favourite), naseeb, coolie, suhaag, roti, … and a lot more to name are the ones that make him true father of ‘masaledaar’ bollywood.  Mostly his movies used to start with a huge line up of tragedy (usually having Nirupa Roy as a blind mother), and have all the family reunited by the end of the movie. Probabaly where I consider the concept of “Happy Ending’ was invented. The imagination had no limits. Almost anything was possible in his flicks!

He entered the film industry as a screenplay and storywriter. It was during the sixties and early seventies that he gave many hit movies. In 1977, he started his own movie production company, MKD, by launching Amar Akbar Anthony as the producer as well as the director. This was infact the most successful year for him, giving 4 blockbusters in the same very year (Dharamveer, Chacha-Bhatija and Parvarish).

Majorly Amitabh used to star in his films, giving Manmohan Desai his biggest blockbusters, but he also casted Shashi Kapoor, Rajesh Khanna, Dharmendra and Jitendra. Even if they had any of them, the major part in the movie was played by Amitabh only. He thought that only he can give justice to the flights of fantasy that the director cooked up. Music during this time in all his movies was given by Laxmikant-Pyarelal, who contributed to his blockbusters by composing music that added zing to the flavor.

His downfall started in the 1980s, when he gave movies like Mard and Ganga Jamuna Saraswati. Even his son tried his hand on the movies, but no success was seen (Alla Rakha & Toofan). But that doesn’t belittle his contribution to the Indian Cinema. His style of filmmaking will always live, and rule in our hearts, as long as The Bollywood lives.

Written By Rishabh Shukla

Zakhm - Short Film Review | Golden Podium

The movie ‘Zakhm’ serves as a companion piece and extension, to the much acclaimed novel “the Kite Runner” by Khalid Hosseini. Zakhm is set after the ending of the Novel, where Amir tends to ailing Sohrab and confesses his guilt.

It is an interesting idea to explore, as in the novel Amir never tells his guilt to anyone. ‘Zakhm’ shapes his confession to the one who has been affected most by Amir’s.

As ‘Zakhm’ is essentially, a monologue the movie depends hugely on Gaurav Karmakar (who plays Amir). He has given a heartfelt performance, by appropriately lending intonation to dialogs. His expression depicts a man who has long been tormented by his guilt and at the same time of relieved. Also I must mention his near perfect pronunciation and delivery of Urdu is laudable.

Equally important for a monologue is dialogue, and dialogues have been written appropriately in Urdu conveying feeling and at the same time look convincing coming from a character who has lived in Afghanistan.

Camera placement is smartly done; opening it shows Sohrab with an ailing Amir; followed by a close-up of Amir.I liked the way the movie ends with some utensil noise (from the kitchen maybe) which Amir goes off to see. Smart indeed, Sujoy. Sujoy has done well helming the roles of director, script/dialogue writer. Also commendable is the idea for a short, as an extension of a novel and not just enacting some scene from the novel.

Well done to the team who made Zakhm, looking forward to watching more of your work.

Written By Ali Naqvi

Before Sunset | Critique | Movie review | Unusual Love Stories-Part 4

Note- To read review of ‘Before Sunrise’, Click here.

Rating - 5/5 Stars

“Journalist : Do you consider the book to be autobiographical?
Jesse: Well, I mean , isn’t everything autobiographical?”
Nine years after events of ‘Before Sunrise’ Jesse is in Paris, attending a book conference for his book he authored; a fictionalized account of his meeting with Celine. And there Celine is waiting for him, we soon get to know that Celine couldn’t make for their scheduled meeting after 6 months of ‘before sunrise’ at Vienna.

Jesse has just few hours before his flight to US. They decide to spend the time talking. The beauty of the script is how natural their conversation is. It goes through various stages; Firstly, They are formal in talking, like people are when they meet after a long time; then they talk about life in general what they have been doing; then proceed to talk about each other, their personal problems. This transition of their talk is so natural and real that you just can’t help but love the whole thing.

The actors are just too natural to seem acting. The secret is that the director and both actors all three contribute to the story. In fact, both actors have added their personal details to the movie, which make it even real and their acting even more natural.

This movie, similar to Before Sunrise is just about them talking. Both the actors have considerably aged in the movie, which again adds a realistic touch. If I were to pick one performance of the two actors it has to be Julie Delpy. Though even her role is more substantial, but she has just performed too well! Atleast an Oscar nomination was deserved for her performance

In the last scene where Celine enacts one of her favorite singers, on stage, and towards the end tells Jesse in the same singer’s style, “Celine: Baby, you are gonna miss that plane. Jesse: I know.” This in my opinion has to be one of the sweetest scenes I can remember in all the films (I was initially giving it 4.5 stars, additional ½ star in the rating is for this amazing scene)

PS – If you remember Saif Ali Khan- Rani Mukherjee Starrer ‘Hum Tum’, also had protagonist writing a bestseller to reach to his lost love. Coincidence? I think NOT!

PPS- Ethan Hawke has indicated that maybe they MAY make a third film. Though the premise in my opinion narrative has reached a wonderful end, but I trust Ethan Hawke- Richard Linklater –Julie Delpy trio to spin a soulful story once again. I for one will wait for eternity to see the next part.

Written By Ali Naqvi

Adieu Pankaj Advani | Editorial

Hey folks,

Some time back, came the news about untimely demise of director Pankaj Advani. He had helmed director’s chair in known movies like Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, Sankat City and little known films like National award winning children’s movie Sunday; critically loved Urf Professor.

Press hails him as a good filmmaker, but his blogpost on PFC tells just before Sankat City release that there is no buzz in media about his film. Sankat City was also lauded by critics as far as I can remember, but buzz wasn’t started by the media.

At less than 50 years of age what could have lead to his early demise? Maybe just the kind of beating that all of his films took, had its effect.

We’ll we need more people, more powerful people to promote such film makers. Like Aamir Khan did for Peepli live.

A friend recently argued that Aamir hogged all the limelight for the film, and didn’t divert attention to the filmmaker Anjum Rizvi.

To that I have to say, what will a filmmaker prefer?

A)     To have his films just seen and appreciated by few people, and not having his name known until after his death?

B)      To have his film seen and appreciated by millions by playing second fiddle to some big shot, thereby opening more avenues to create his niche in the future?

I would opt for B any day.

Goodbye Pankaj, May you RIP.

With love,

Ali Naqvi

Abrar Alvi - As Director | Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam and Fullstop | Statesmen

You remember Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam ? Any idea who directed it. I asked few cine-buffs about it and the random answer was Guru Dutt… Well, I am a Guru Dutt fan and I would love to say Yes, but no. It was directed by a fine film writer who is credited with works like… Mr. & Mrs. 55, Pyaasa, Kaagaz Ke Phool, Chaudhvin Ka Chand,  Professor… Yes, I am talking about Abrar Alvi.

Abrar Alvi impressed Guru Dutt on sets of Baaz with his deep insight of storytelling. Recognizing his talent, Guru Dutt asked him to join in for Aar Paar and its subsequent success stamped his talent. When a very impressive Kaagaz Ke Phool failed to impress public; Guru Dutt came under heavy debts. He needed a big movie to help him stand. At this point, Alvi rose to the accession and directed Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam. It was a big blockbuster…

Success is mother of controversies. Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam had the distinct signature of Guru Dutt and the general opinion was that Guru Dutt ghost-directed it. Many people still believe it and many crew-members had dropped hints indicating that though Alvi directed the movie; there was larger than just an actor involvement on Guru Dutt’s part. Something people usually say about Aamir Khan as well… Interestingly, the editor of movie maintained that it was out and out Alvi’s genius that made Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam such an epic.

Alvi never directed another movie. He is perhaps the only who got Filmfare for his debut and sole movie. He never got the credit for his work and maybe that had a major impact on his decision to stay away from director’s seat. Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam is one of the movies that cannot be remade again. Let’s raise a toast in name of the director of the movie… Abrar Alvi.

Written By: Sujoy Ghosh

Little Manhattan | The Critique| Unusual love stories Part 3

Rating: 4/5

I was in class 1 when I first fell in love with a sweet damsel in my class. She used to sit two rows ahead of me in a class divided on lines of Indo-Pak border. Her hazel eyes and sweetest smile made me crazy about her. She changed her school that very year and I am still trying to search her over social networks. Yes… I too had a love story… and maybe that’s the very reason I was able to connect with Gabe and his childish love for Rosemary.

Little Manhattan is a sweet love story of an eleven year old kid Gabe, who fell in love with a beautiful girl Rosemary. Gabe’s parents are on verge of separation and life thus is not great for him. His only solace is the fact that he loves Rosemary and the dopamine keeps him up. But that’s no utopia. He feels that she is drifting far from him. He discusses this with his father and his father says that the reason he and Gabe’s mother is not in an amiable situation is that they left many things unsaid.

Gabe opens up. Rosemary says that lets the time take its own course. Till then they can be good friends… Gabe’s father reconciles with his wife and things are getting into shape. Gabe remarks that he won’t forget his first love…

Wow, quite a tale. Well, to believe that as a movie with child actors, you will actually have to watch it. Direction, music and cinematography aides the near-perfect story and lovely performances. Seriously, watch it to believe it…

Written By: Sujoy Ghosh

Al Capone | Criminals In Cinema - Part 5 | Under Lens

Alphonse Gabriel "Al" Capone… ahem ahem. That’s an impressive name. Al Capone is one of the most celebrated criminal of Hollywood. There have been thousands of references and portrayals of this legendary name. What made him so special? Nature of his crime? Nah… Unlike boring Families; Capone was more outgoing. He believed in doing things with a big trailing sound. His larger than life persona attracted everyone from journalist to Hollywood movie stars… and yes; who can forget/overlook Saint Valentine's Day Massacre.

The Godfather had a small fictionalized role of Capone in the war. This was an acknowledgement of Capone’s might and popularity. Considering the uncountable times Capone has been caricatured; we will limit our discussion to two highly acclaimed movies: The Untouchables and Scarface.

The Untouchables was based on a novel by the same name, tells the story of infamous Capone and his famed strife with Agent Ness. This movie was critically acclaimed for direction. Robert De Niro played the role of Al Capone and the portrayal is remembered as one of his finest. He went to the extent of gaining 30 pounds to give the Capone persona to his reel avatar. Moreover, his adaptation of character had the brutality and the chivalry both at the same time; something Capone was famous for. Result was deadly.

Based on 1932 movie by Hawks, in 1983, Scarface was made with Al Pacino playing the role of Tony Montana. Tony Montana is a famous screen adaptation of Capone and since 1932; nobody has a shred of doubt about it. When Scarface (1932) was made; it was a fact and when Scarface was remade in 1983; it was a legend. Al Pacino gave one of his finest performances and the movie went on to become a legend. Due to heavy dosage of blood and abuse censor was very cautious about rating this movie. However, that did not mar the quality of work by any mean. No wonder, Ebert gave 4/4 to this rebel movie.

That’s the end of our series – ‘Criminals In Cinema’. I hope you like it. May be soon, I will start off with a long series on Axed Reel Romances In Bollywood. Wait for it…

Written By: Sujoy Ghosh

Robot Mania | Editor's Pen

Hi Folks,

Two weekends back i had the chance to watch Endhiran aka Robot. This was after i had heard a few negative voices from Rajni fans for the film.

Living in Bangalore without witnessing Rajni Mania is no less than a crime (Umm ok Chennai would have been better for the same ...) So I landed into a non-multiplex hall and ended up paying double the ticket price, in Tamil, without subtitles ! Ha beat that!

The movie started with seetis and taalis. Initial credits hinted at the high amount of money spent in making of the movie. As regards to my reaction about the movie. One Word. AWESOME.

It has so many twist and turns. The plot actually has a logic, and it progresses logically not just randomly at script writers whim.

Robot is not shown as a perfect device but has flaws. Thats what i admire about the film. It could have gone overboard at so many places but it doesn't.

Aishwarya looks as pretty as she did in nities and Rajni has excelled in acting department specially as the Villain Robot (SRK fans, be sure he couldn't do justice to the role, my bet on that) .But man of the hour HAS to be director Shankar who creates a film that is so huge in scale, at the same time is original and it never falls in temptation

PS in the climax of Endhiran is bloody awesome.I will rate it over so many of hollywood blockbusters in recent past may be even transformers.

PPS - Give Endhiran a chance, it will shock and surprise you.By the way, I am now a Rajni fan :-D

With Love,
Ali Naqvi

Kevin Mitnick | Criminals In Cinema – Part 4 | Under Lens

If you remember the kid in A Wednesday and don’t remember the chap who was asked to track Naseeruddin Shah’s whereabouts and still don’t know even a shred about Kevin Mitnick then you are at the right place. Kevin Mitnick is not another obscure hacker/cracker. He is the image behind geeky larger than life hackers shown in movies. Yes, Kevin Mitnick the Brand is the same about whom your bank release notifications.

A legend in his own right, Mitnick was semi-biographed in 2000’s Takedown/Trackdown/Hackers 2 [see, different names for the same movie… that’s geeky]. Takedown was based on a book by the same name written by John Markoff and Tsutomu Shimomura. The movie spoke about the cyber war between a hacker and a cracker- Mitnick and Shimomura. Though Shimomura stood by his own version; Mitnick said that the book and hence, the movie were full of inaccuracies. It told the story from a biased point of view. Incidentally, records support Mitnick on this.

Innumerous characters have been influenced by this legend. Just think of any of those geeky characters who can hack into any system with anything made available and come up with an unbelievable still believable outcome… that’s Mitnick. That includes… Jagdish (Abhishek Bachchan) in Om Jai Jagdish. A hacker turned cyber security expert…

Written By: Sujoy Ghosh

B’Wood RomComs… Blah Blah | Candid Krishnan

Aisha… well, they said that its an adaptation of Jane Austen’s Emma. Poor Austen. She could never had conceived a worse nightmare than seeing this sugar coated movie that fatally failed to understand Austen at the first place. Waste of time and money… both at the same time. RomComs…! Bollywood F.U.

Similarly, anyday I would have love to have a quick revision of Choti Si Baat than wasting my savings on an overhyped IHLS. What a waste of money, man. Here is a guy who hate love stories and frown on silly cliché’s and see, he grows (?) into someone who repeats all of them just to convince you that when you are in love; you go nuts. Dude, get a life. Life is not a plethora of clichés.

Actually, such movies should be censored. The reels should be put into a capsule and thrown in Pacific. How dare they make such movies? Why can’t they have a script before shooting… now, please don’t tell me that they had a script. Last few movies made show the paucity of talent in this country. If we feel proud of having a film industry; we need serious introspection.

The word RomCom reminds me of a sweet movie… ‘You’ve Got Mail’. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Yes, I know that its blasphemous talking about this and IHLS in the same flow; still I am doing so because any talk about RomComs minus this movie is incomplete. Sweet romance, spicy comedy and sparking chemistry. That’s RomCom. Some people need to understand that. So, either make good RomCom or make Spoofs… Anyways, judging by latest outings, I guess both mean the same in B-Town dictionary.

Written By: Candy Krishnan

Hayao Miyazaki | Statesmen

Seldom does any artist work get recognition as, "He makes better animated films than Pixar", but Hayao Miyazaki does.

Long before Pixar came into existence, Miyazaki was making exceptional animated movies that were not just for kids. His films are 90% hand animated and mostly have female protagonists and always carry a message. Ecology pollution and the like feature as themes.

Miyazaki has won Oscar for his films and holds the record for most sucessful film in Japan. He is revered by Pixar studio people, his work has inspired many directors.

Funny and remarkable thing about his films is that production begins before story has been finalized. The story is developed as film nears its completion.

Written by Ali Naqvi

Splash Movie Review | Critique | Unusual Love stories - Part 2

Rating – 3/5 Star

Unusual love stories can be in many forms, unusual in their situation, stories or people who are in love. Unusual couples hmmm, let’s see, guy falling for another guy or girl falling for another girl … How about non-human love interest. A mermaid, perhaps?

This is what forms core plot of Splash  – a love story of an average Joe and a mermaid. A brief chance encounter between a little mermaid and a little boy connect them. Another chance encounter years later, leads to mermaid coming to land to find love of her life. (Wondering how that works, You see she is gets human feet when her tail is dry). She is new to human culture and often lands up doing things embarrassingly funny. Makers make use of it for generating laughs.

Another major subplot is a scientist who has seen the mermaid in its under see form keeps trying to prove that she is a mermaid. This turns out to be the turning point in the movie.

Tom Hanks plays the role of the lucky guy, Allen and Daryl Hannah as the beautiful mermaid, Madison. Hanks on one hand performs his part well, on the other hand Daryl Hannah is super as Mermaid. She is so may things at the same time. She is curious of her new surroundings, she is madly in love and looks amazing. (She looks the part of the mermaid completely ;-) )

Technically, the scene in which she first transforms from woman to mermaid is pretty well done (it was scary though, unintentionally). Scenes in which actress as mermaid does not seem to breathe for long shots must have been difficult to shoot.

I must add though that the ratings a little too high on rotten tomatoes but still the movie is definitely worth at least a single viewing.

PS – You might recognize the weird scientist as father of Jim from ‘American Pie’ ;-).

PPS - Coming up next in the series Unusual love stories – Before Sunset, Lars and the Real girl.

Written by – ‘Ali Naqvi’

Rakhtcharitra movie review | Critique | Fresh

Alright, picture this. Abhimanyu Singh, who plays the bad guy Bukka, is busy bashing up a poor guy's kneecaps with the butt of a rifle. A woman walks by, presumably some relative of his. She stops and asks Abhimanyu solemnly, "Satyanarayan ki puja hai. Chalega kya?" To which, our bad guy replies, even more solemnly, "Nahin." You see, at this point, even the bit players such as that woman were bored to death, wondering what is going on in this movie. Rakhtcharitra, that is.

The man behind this movie is Ram Gopal Varma who gave us our gangster-genre redefinition in Satya and Company. Well, in Sarkar too, to an extent. Of late though, his signature style - realism has been substituted by bizarre camera angles, loud, jarring background scores and characters that are so completely over-the-top that you have to crane your neck in order to see who's outdoing whom in the bad acting department. The very same RGV who took us through a splendid cinematic journey with terrific films such as Shiva, Rangeela, Kaun, Jungle. And it is indeed heart-breaking to see the man churn out one bad movie after another. 

If you want to get to the story in this movie, I am sorry to say that I didn't find one. It is nothing but an endless montage of gruesome killings that are done so tastelessly that they make the Ramsay horror films look subtle by comparison. Ok, might be I'm exaggerating. But really, there IS NO story, so to speak. The clash between two political aides and their attempts to wipe off each other is what this film is about. When the netas end up in hell, their kids take it over and continue the fight. THAT IS IT. One murder after another and then another and your patience takes a flight.

Movies in this genre are particularly driven by a conscience. Be it The Godfather or Goodfellas, Satya or Company, there always is a conscience....some sort of motivation for the characters. In short, there is a soul in these films. But, in Rakhtcharitra, there is none. All you get are stereotypes -  jealous politicians,. backstabs, blood thirsty relatives, angry-looking mob men and what have you. There is nothing in this movie that you haven't seen already, nothing that you can't predict with your eyes closed...absolutely nothing.

I know, I am being unfair in judging this movie with the others in the crime/gangster genre. But RGV's new outing begs to be compared. There was a time when realism was considered to be the forte of few directors such as Ratnam and Varma. Particularly, in Satya, the camera became a character when it captured the muddy lives of the gangsters in such a captivating manner. No slo-mo shots, no overused background score. In Rakhtcharitra, however, we aren't spared the agony of watching EVERY character mumble, turn around very slowly, walk about very slowly...even if it isn't a slo-mo shot. Too restrained, shall we say. And to compliment those, RGV uses his actors in a completely over-the-top manner. They look at you with large eyes and you begin to worry that they might pop out. Vivek Oberoi has a set of 2 expressions and he uses them adequately. He scowls, looks angry and you start your tsk-tsk wondering where this lad's acting talents ran away. Abhimanyu Singh is wasted in the role of a lecherous, masochistic gangster and it is a pity to see him get a caricaturish role to play after his excellent portrayal as Rananjay Singh 'Ransa' in Gulaal. And then, there is Shatrughan Sinha, who plays a Marathi actor-turned-politician. But, will anyone please explain to me why on earth does he have a Southern accent? He  has precisely two dialogues in this movie. Either say "brother" or "topic is over". Sigh. So much for being a senior and respected actor.

Varma commits another unforgivable sin. Whilst in Satya and Company, he held on to the subtle, underlined message that crime doesn't pay, he does the opposite here. He glorifies three things - crime, atrocities committed against women and bad cinema. Women are raped, hit like anything and you cringe in your seat when people clap at those scenes. People are slashed, diced and chopped and you turn your face in disgust only to see the audience cheering. If this is not glorification of violence, I honestly don't know what is.

The only hint of the Varma, whom we have come to love and adore, is seen in the film's climactic fight when a character runs after Abhimanyu Singh's character in order to put an end to his life. The only scene that gives you a vague sense of excitement. 

There is a sequel which will be released on 19th November 2010. I have nothing much to expect. It is only in one man's hand to make up for the mistakes that he has committed. And that is Varma himself. Like all hopeful souls, we must wait and we must pray. But, something tells me that this wait is going to be pretty long. Maybe, the cynic in me has taken over. For I have seen Rakhtcharitra and all I have to say is -- "Oh, the horror, the horror !" 

Ratings: * (1 out of 5)

Written By: Gyandeep Pattnayak

Guzaarish | Music Review | Fresh

Sujoy and Ali are so punctual with their articles and edition, that I always appear late. But I can’t help it, I need the music to grow on me and to make my task tougher, the film industry is introducing new Music directors with each upcoming movie. After Satyajit Ray and Vishal Bhardwaj, Sanjay Leela Bhansali is making his debut as the music director of his own film Guzaarish. In words of Sanjay, "I've done the music of the film as I felt the way I understood the characters of the film, I would not be able to make a music director understand all that. I wonder how he was able to make the actors understand all that. Anyways, not deviating from the topic, let me tell you, Sanjay Leela Bansali's music has melody, but it lacks variations. The lyrics are penned by Vibhu Singh and A M Turoz, who have done a good job.

• Guzaarish : The title and opening track of the album begins amidst the sound of rain, a lovely piano, and a violin. KK has put so much feeling into every note doing justice with the mood and lyrics. Music though purely relies on the violin, but nevertheless its a slow melody to be loved by those romantic at heart.

• Sau gram zindagi : As the name suggests, the track has a philosophical undertone. Kunal Ganjawala has give his best, and orchestral music is soothing, but suddenly it has a very hard rock infused section with lyrics sung in English. Maybe in the context of the film you will think: "oh, now I see", but listening to it out of context it is hard to see the continuity.

• Tera Zikr : It’s an average fare rendered by Shail Hada and Rakesh Pandit. So, did I like it... I am not sure.

• Saiba : My personal favorite in the album. First song in the album which has a female voice chipping in, which has longing in every note. Vibhavari Joshi gets a platform for herself through this film. The guitar and Portuguese settings add to the lyrics full of romance and poetry but doesn't leave the basic 'sur' of album.

• Jaane kiske khwaab : The 5th slow track in a row, with a piano based arrangement, looks like a situational track.

• Udi : The only fast song in the album having a carnival feel to it Sunidhi Chahuan as always done a wonderful job, but yet songs fails to make you tap your feet.

• Keh na Sakun : Back to slow – mo. You would like to skip this song since it has nothing novel to offer.

• Chaand ki katori : Harshdeep Kaur, has delivered every time when summoned to do the job, is impressive once again. She gets into the 'raga' mode for 'Chaand Ki Katori'.

• Dhundli Dhundli : Continues the trend of album, the only good thing about this song is Shankar Mahadevan.

The songs seem apt to situation in the movie but as an album the listener has had enough. Throughout the album it seems that Sanjay had one idea in mind and he was not able to come out of that. The songs have gray shade (slow and depressing) He should be thankful to lyricist and singers for saving the album.

Verdict : Please get yourself a music composer, Mr. Bhansali. (2/5)

Written by Neha Jain

Editorial | Introducing Candy Krishnan

Hi,

Folks I am, Ali here, to take care of editing for a few editions while Sujoy is up to some studies.

UPDATE: Folks I am pleased to introduce to you our new author, Chandrakanth K. Krishnan aka Candy Krishnan.

Here’s a more on who Candid Krishnan is: Candy considers himself a hippie who is stuck in the extravagance of 70’s and is a serious movie freak who does everything except smoking grass while watching The Godfather; an act he considers to be blasphemous. There was a point when he wanted to make movies but was thrown out of studios because people believed that his ideas were too realistic to be realized. Overburdened with the frustration, he started doing something everyone wants to do but few dare to do. No! He didn’t started making porn. In fact, he started doing nothing… wandering in search of cinema in common man’s life. We consider ourselves lucky to have him as a columnist in our column… Candid Krishnan.

We hope you’ll love his views about dumb movies that we, the viewers have been subjected to in the past through his column ‘CANDID KRISHNAN’. It pretty much sums up what he thinks of all these movies and their makers :-). Enjoy!

Love,

Ali Naqvi.

Candid Krishnan | Saawariya- A Stupid Film

A debutante romances a maiden. With great heritage behind and accumulated expectation; a good performance would not be just enough. Both came to the fore as the next Raj-Nargis pair on board. But what they delivered surpassed all the expectations by leaps and bounds. The simply gave an expression that make you say… O Yuck!!!

Sanjay Leela Bhansali made a great movie. Named it Khamoshi. He made a legendary (?) movie. Named it Black. He mixed the worst of both; set it in a simply awful setup and took two fresh faces with families in Industry and wasted a lot of money. Yeah, you guessed it right. He made a blue film (color; not content)… Saawariya. Looking back at the movie, I come across a few things…

Sanjay definitely hated the best movie he made… Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. Though he didn’t forget Sameer. He asked Ranbeer Kapoor, grandson of legendary Raj Kapoor and son of remarkable Rishi Kapoor and still very much adorable Neetu Kapoor; to wear the shirt of Sameer (who loves to be shirtless. I wanted to use top instead of shirt but I assumed that it would be severely censored) labeled as Raj. Well, Ranbeer is no Raj/Rishi/Salman.  Sorry girls, there was nothing that can be appreciated about Ranbeer in this movie; though I guess you might have loved him flashing his rear assets…

Sanjay was definitely adamant messing up this movie. He gave Salman a micro-second role custom-written for Ajay Devgan. Result… Just think Salman in role Ajay played in HDDCS. The expression he gave throughout appeared as if Ash is standing in front of him (post HDDCS). Rugged and misfit. Rani… totally unimpressive in a role that is something closer to Chandramukhi in Devdas… And Sonam… I remember his father’s memorable performances in Ishwar, Who Saat Din and Saheb. I guess genes are misplaced. She got looks and height but acting skills… Missing!! Thank God, she does not have the moustache…

I don’t know what the sub-genre in specific is. But there are movies that are very serious to the core and bad performances and pathetic script make them attain cult status in comedy genre… Spoof?? IMO… spoofs make some sense. Don’t they.

Written By: Candy Krishnan